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FAITH JOURNEY STATEMENT
E. Wayne McLaughlin
I grew up in a fundamentalist Southern Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. I was active in every aspect of the church's life; I believed in the inerrancy of Scripture, felt the heavy responsibility of saving souls from hell, and was immersed in the study of the Bible. At age eight I professed Christ as my Savior and was baptized. At age ten I publicly announced my 'call to preach.'
Ironically, it was in a liberal arts Baptist College that my mind was opened to a more realistic view of Scripture and a more ecumenical understanding of faith. My teacher, Glen Stassen, and a mentor, John Claypool, challenged me to focus on the prophetic tradition of the Bible and the central place of grace in God's purposes. In a Baptist seminary I continued to grow in theological understanding, reading the same texts as the Presbyterian seminarians not far from our campus, with the exception of matters of polity and sacraments.
Feeling the tightness of my 'Baptist shoes,' I began to consider alternatives. I settled on the Presbyterian Church and jumped through the hoops to receive a call in 1978. I suddenly felt at home. During the previous couple of years I had been reading liberation and feminist theologies and finding them speaking to my heart. I also discovered the writings of the monk, Thomas Merton, and the psychologist, Albert Ellis (Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy). Their writings became sources of spiritual nourishment.
During college I began having panic attacks, depression and anxiety. This became a source of embarrassment to me, and I struggled with the spiritual meaning of these debilitating experiences for many years. Through much education, therapy, and with the help of medication, I finally came to a place of self-acceptance, which to me was a great experience of the grace of God.
As I served pastorates in Indiana and Ohio, I attended numerous seminars on Jewish-Christian dialogue; I began to study Buddhist philosophy and practice meditation off and on; I was helped by the theology of the Catholic writer Karl Rahner; I took an interest in Interim Ministry as a specialty and took the training at Montreat; my theological perspective becoming more liberal; and I served an ecumenically yoked parish consisting of Presbyterian and Lutheran congregations.
Along the way I have found keeping a journal a means of prayer and self-discovery. Being part of a monthly clergy support group for several years was an experience of honest feedback and affirmation that helped me discern God's will.
The main spiritual issues for me have been self-acceptance and fear of death. Being a very rationalistic and analytical person, I have had to continually open myself up to the Mystery at the heart of life. In Christ's death and resurrection I have found hope and grace and rest.
On January 1st this year my wife (Pat) and I took early retirement so that we could move to Birmingham and be near our daughter (Glory), son-in-law (Jim) and granddaughter (Norah). Little Norah who is 2 ½ years old said to me the other day as I left her house, "Goodbye, you funny guy." I do have a sense of humor, which is also part of the grace of God at work in my life.
