40 years!

Pat and I are back from several days in the mountains of Ashville, NC. to celebrate
our 40th wedding anniversary.
Forty Years is a significant number in the Bible.
The Jews were in the wilderness 40 years as they traveled toward
the Promised Land.
Marriage is a journey.
In fact, we don't 'get married,' we 'become married.'
It takes time to really get wed together.
The two shall become one, the Bible says.
But not on the day of the wedding.
The oneness of marriage
comes only after years of testing and growth.


Pat and I are fortunate.
A long and healthy marriage takes both work and luck.
In so many ways we are different; we hardly have any
hobbies or interests in common.
But we have found ways to support each other's interests,
and to allow each other the space to pursue
our own thing.
At the same time we have tried to cultivate
some common activities and pursuits.


It's all about give-and-take.
Compromise contains promise.
As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13, "Love seeks not its own."
Another translation puts it: "Love does not insist on its own way."
The acceptance of the other as different,
and the acceptance of their uniqueness
is part of the process of a successful relationship.


We drove up the Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway
and had a picnic at 5000 feet,
keeping a lookout for bears.
But what we noticed more than anything
was the silence.
Almost complete quietness.
We took it in.


But you can't remain above it all for long.
We have to come back down to the nitty gritty
and keep working amidst the noise of ego and desire.


The next forty years promises even more intimacy,
weddedness, and delight.

(photo taken at Montreat Conference Center)