Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Many rooms

People are complicated. We do a disservice when we describe someone as a 'bad person' or an 'alcoholic' or a 'criminal' or a 'conservative' or 'liberal.' Labels don't do people justice.


I like the words of historian David Blight as he describes President Lincoln's politics. Blight is writing a brief commentary on Lincoln's enigmatic letter to Horace Greely, written on August 22, 1862. Lincoln seems to talk out of both sides of his mouth in this letter, and historians use this correspondence to prove opposite points: either that Lincoln was out to end slavery or that he wasn't. Here is David Blight's comment:


Lincoln's multilayered temperament was a house with many doors. The Greeley letter, like few other works in Lincoln's writings, demonstrates how many choices we have in entering that house. (In Lincoln's Hand: His Original Manuscripts with Commentary by Distinguished Americans, Bantam Books, 2009, p. 101)


Isn't that a better way to look at people? Aren't we all to some extent a 'house with many doors"?


When we look into the eyes of another person we encounter mystery. When we are open to the spirit of another human being, we soon discover a holy spirit that dwells there. Even after years of marriage we are still finding out who our spouse is. Like Abraham Lincoln, we all have 'multilayered temperaments.' Of course very few people rise to the level of greatness that Lincoln embodied. But each of us is a complex being.


Some people find that counseling or psychotherapy helps to strip away the layers of their personality in order to discover wholeness of being. We have rooms within the 'house' of our Self that we have never entered. Self-discovery is part of spiritual growth.


Interpersonal relationships are even more complicated. Truly getting to know someone is a process of revelation. You cannot really know me unless I reveal myself to you. Nor can I know you unless you reveal yourself to me. There are locked doors that can only be opened from the inside.


Every person you meet is a mystery. Developing a close relationship with another person is a sacred process. Knock softly on the door.


Don't too quickly pigeonhole people into categories. Let each individual reveal his or her self to you. Make space for that revelation to take place. Eugene Peterson says: "The question I put to myself is not, 'How many people have you spoken to about Christ this week?' but 'How many people have you listened to in Christ this week?'" [from The Contemplative Pastor] The ministry of listening opens up space for self-revelation.


Remember, each person has a multilayered temperament, and a house with many rooms. The same is true with God, for didn't Jesus say, "In my Father's house there are many rooms"? [John 14]


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